How travel changes you: life transitions and your self-identity
When friends reach out to me for travel advice I quickly get swept up in sharing their excitement and anticipation… almost as much as with my own trip planning! I love to help maximize travel time and dollars while dreaming up uncommon activities that match with a person’s dreams and goals. About a year ago I lightly scoffed when a friend described me as her ‘travel coach’ but I also realized that travel coaching (whatever that was) seemed like the perfect term to describe what I was doing. Intrigued by this notion, I discovered that being a certified travel coach is an actual thing!
I jumped right in, became a student, and now am a Certified Travel Coach.
What is travel coaching?
Great question.
It’s not a life coach and it’s not a travel agent. It’s not a counselor and it’s not a tour guide.
A Travel Coach helps people set intentions for a trip and offers support to help make it happen. A coaching experience may include itinerary design, travel skill building, or mindset shifts. It might offer encouragement and gentle accountability to do something outside comfort zones or might simply help people navigate through overwhelming information to decisions and travel-action.
Travel coaches often facilitate clients through the entire travel experience from pre-planning to post-trip in order to take full advantage of the power of travel as a deeply personal journey. I’ve formally joined an interesting community of people who offer all sorts of travel coaching specialties including:
Supporting women who are looking at travel to heal after a loss
Assisting busy career women to maximize their limited vacation time
Helping families make the most of travel plans to engage and educate their children
Empowering women to take their first leap into solo travel
Guiding people to make a healthy shift into a life of remote work or as an expat
And while travel coaches serve a range of needs, consistent to all coaches is a belief about how travel changes you and that travel is an amazing tool on your journey to become the best version of yourself.
When travel is more than a vacation
Almost everyone has done some sort of travelling but not every trip changes your life or impacts you deeply. Sometimes a vacation is just a vacation! But there are opportunities when travel can be a tool for so much more.
Travel allows us to experience new cultures, meet new people, taste new foods, and visit new places, and while these are all amazing benefits on their own, there is another aspect of travel that is often overlooked – the connection between travel and our self-identity.
Self-identity is how we define ourselves as individuals – it is a combination of our values, beliefs, preferences, and experiences. Our sense of self-identity is influenced by society, family, ethnicity, culture, location, media, and life experiences. Travel, as one of those life experiences, can have a significant impact on how our identity is formed over time and how we perceive ourselves.
I am convinced that travel has shaped and continues to shape my self-identity.
“Self-identity is not simply sought out; it is produced through moments of challenge, serendipity, and triumph. One does not acquire self-identity in an instant.”
How travel changes you …in childhood
Brain science tells us that travel experiences literally change the neural pathways in the brain. The brain undergoes tremendous growth throughout childhood. New experiences create new brain connections. Social psychologist Adam Galinsky writes that travel has a positive impact on the brain. He says that it can change the way we approach the world, leaving us more flexible, open, and tolerant.
As I child, my family took a few vacations but most of my ‘travel’ was moving to a new city or new country every other year. This regular travel meant a consistent series of transitions: new bedrooms, new schools, new friends, new neighbourhoods, and new cultures. My brain probably got a bit chaotic with all that synaptic activity - maybe not always in a good way.
As a kid, my self-identity was often wrapped around the fact that I knew I would be moving away again. This is something that continues to affect how I am as a friend to others. While I always felt on the outside or “other,” I remember being able to think ahead about WHO I wanted to be in the next new place. Not that I was fake or inauthentic, but I chose to pay attention to my past experiences and apply what I learned to fit in better, make friends easier, or be okay with being alone. Those behaviour choices sculpted who I am today!
How travel changes you… leaving adolescence
The same can be said about the backpacking journey I took fresh out of high school. I had no clue what I “wanted to be when I grew up!” The 3 month journey gave me space to think about who I was outside the realm of my family and who I wanted to become. The time away from regular routines and familiar influences helped me decide what career I would pursue (the first one anyway). I came home with clarity and confidence. I had made a decision about my next steps and I realized that if I could take care of myself in a foreign country, I could undoubtedly tackle this uncertain next stage in life.
Paris, France
Santorini, Greece
How travel changes you… becoming an empty nester
Fast forward to the transition to becoming an empty nester. This was a transition that hit me at different times in different ways. Sometimes I felt a thrill, sometimes I felt empty and sad. I completely agree with what Hilary Straw shared in a recent interview, “The time away allowed me to process my feelings about my sons leaving home. I started to accept the end of my hands-on contribution as a mother. I began to let go of the desire to control them or even be in regular contact with them. I realized the necessity of allowing them to get on with their own lives in their own way. I will of course always be there for them if they need me.”
Of course we took 18 year old boys to the Heineken Experience!
The summer that my youngest son was leaving town for university both he and his friends, and my husband and I, took off on a month-long backpacking trip - separately. I remember and will treasure my pivotal moment of acceptance to this next stage. It was a sunny summer afternoon and we met our youngest son and his friends as we all passed through Amsterdam. We spent one day together and then headed off again in different directions. It was a brilliant feeling to meet up in a foreign country, with our own stories to tell, without needing each other…and still happy to connect.
How travel changes you…into retirement
Now I face a new life chapter that has the freedom from any previous roles defined by my career. There are still some big questions that linger about what that means, who I am now, and who I want to be going forward. I figure that if travel as a young girl and then a young woman influenced who I am - might not travel be the answer again to help shape who I will become in the next stage of my life? I’m sure the answer is yes for me.
Here are a few of the ways in which travels can shape both our self-identity and help us transition from one life chapter to the next.
Porto, Portugal on our first trip as “retirees”
Exposure to new cultures
When we travel, we are exposed to new cultures, customs, and traditions. This exposure can help us broaden our perspectives and expand our understanding of the world around us. It can also lead us to question our own beliefs and values, and challenge us to be more open-minded.
Time for self-reflection
Traveling provides us with the time and space to reflect on our own thoughts and emotions. It provides the opportunity to take a step back from our daily lives and really think about what we want out of life. If you're feeling lost or unsure about your path in life, traveling can help you gain clarity and perspective.
Building resilience
Traveling can challenge us physically and emotionally. We may be faced with language barriers, unfamiliar foods, and unexpected circumstances that push us outside of our comfort zones. These challenges can help us build resilience, inner strength and confidence.
Creating lasting memories
The memories we create while traveling become a part of our own personal story or narrative. The sights we see, the people we meet, and the experiences we have – all add to the rich tapestry of our lives.
Travel (far from home and as well as close to home) helps me engage with the world around me, it boosts my energy, motivation, and enthusiasm. It also challenges me and makes me feel that I’m constantly learning and growing which helps me feel competent, adaptable and capable. And quite honestly, as I look ahead into my 50’s, 60’s, 70’s - overall, I want to feel engaged, enthusiastic, competent, and capable. By identifying what emotions are important to me - I can craft my life (at home or away) towards those feelings.
And that’s where I’m going with Travel Coaching. I offer my enthusiastic support to women who wonder how they can use travel to explore their evolving self-identity…and to discover what matters most including feeling:
Alive
At peace
Capable
Connected
Authentic
Compassionate
Adventurous
Useful
Purposeful
Confident
Joyful
How do you want to feel? Are you pursuing those feelings with intention? Do you think travel is helping with that?
If it’s a conversation that interests you - reach out! Let’s connect.
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