Why solo travel is part of my journey to travel bliss
“You are the one that possesses the keys to your being. You carry the passport to your own happiness.”
I look up at a recent travel vision board hanging in my office and the following phrase jumps out at me. “JFDI”. I chuckle and mouth the words just fucking do it. JFDI.
I’m going to do some solo traveling. Here’s why and how.
My top travel motives, visually expressed in my vision board, are growth and novelty. These play out in my travel personality but also in my everyday life. Family, friends, and co-workers often ask my advice about situations or ideas because I can’t help but look for new and better ways to see things or do something. I tend to see how a slight shift in perspective can open up an amazing twist to make something awesome happen.
This is, of course, a blessing and a curse. I look at my own life with the same eyes...always searching for new and better ways of living. I’m rarely content, always learning, and probably drive people mad with my unrelenting ideas! I obviously need to work on that, but I also want to recognize and honour who I am. I crave opportunities to grow as a person in the context of different experiences and new challenges.
In terms of travel, my motives play out in where I plan to go and how I approach my planning. I love to travel yet I’ve got barriers to my travel dreams. Specifically, I could do with more money, more time and less pandemic.
But, true to form, I am a girl with a plan and have (refundable) tickets for Europe later this year. For now, though I am home. I’ll be damned if I waste my time living in the future. I want to feel as energized as I do when traveling!
So what am I doing about it?
I’m embracing the growth and novelty motives in my life at home. For me that means lots of learning and trying something new. I’ve decided to lean into the idea of solo travel. Why?
Because I’ve never tried it before (novelty)
Because it is way out of my comfort zone (growth)
And from what I’ve heard from others, it has benefits such as getting to know yourself better, increasing confidence, a sense of freedom and a deeper connection to the environment. All of which are right up my alley. It’s also something I can begin at home because I don’t have the opportunity yet to do it in a big, grand way.
And I think I come by it naturally. When I was a kid, my Dad walked Hadrian's Wall. It's a 117 km (73 mile) national walking trail across the UK from coast to coast. He shared stories of rolling hills, sheep, beer and friendly people.
A bookclub friend shared her Camino stories with me, prompting me to watch the 2010 movie The Way with Martin Sheen. Some seed of interest was planted. Then, in 2016 a very close girlfriend completed the Portuguese Camino with beautiful stories of the experience and the seed sprouted. The Camino de Santiago or the Way of St. James, is a medieval pilgrimage to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in Galicia, in the North West of Spain. Traditionally a catholic pilgrimage, it has exploded in popularity with a secular crowd. The number of pilgrims has tripled to 347,578 per year in 2019 (pre pandemic) compared to just twelve years earlier.
I know I’m not ready to hop on a plane and do either Hadrian's Wall or the Camino. So I’m going to leverage the magic of anticipation to enhance my travel bliss by nurturing, extending, and enjoying the preparation stages. I am going to literally make it my journey to get to that ultimate journey.
My obstacles to solo travel
Time
Hadrian’s Wall is a good week, the Camino can range from a week to more than a month. I’ll start shorter with 3 or 4 days.
Travel Abroad
As I write, we are starting to see a post-pandemic easing of travel restrictions. Things are opening up, but my comfort zone is not quite ready to go somewhere so far away in these uncertain circumstances, and definitely not on my own yet. Instead, I’m going to craft my shorter “pilgrimage” closer to home.
Fear
I’m going to be honest, fear is the biggest obstacle of all. It’s not simply a fear of failing, or getting sick or navigating the health and safety protocols of international travel on my own, but also the fear of being 100% on my own, doing something I’ve never done before.
“Feel the fear and do it anyways.“
Susan Jeffers
Fear gets a bad rap. It’s a healthy emotion that keeps us safe. But sometimes we let fear run us, letting anxiety nestle in where it shouldn’t and influence our thinking and behaviours. I want to be safe but I don’t want to be fearful. So I’m going to build strength and resilience, and learn what I can to be safe. And as Eleanor Roosevelt is quoted to say, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." I’m going to do it (f’ing do it).
Physical confidence
Along with the mental hurdles, I also have the physical ones. I’m over 50 and in decent shape, but question whether I am in good enough shape to walk 25-30km a day, every day for a long time. Also, am I strong enough to care for myself physically should I need to? A physical challenge of long distance walking gives me something to sink my teeth into and work on. I plan to build up my kilometers along with my strength and confidence.
I am not an athlete. As an adult I “learned to run” and truth be told, running my first 10k filled me with almost as much feeling of accomplishment as getting my masters degree! I later trained and finished an ultramarathon (one and only one) but that was many moons ago and my blisters have healed! Over time, though, I have learned to be more self aware about what I like to do, what kind of movement I enjoy, and how much is enough (56 km is way too much!).
My interest in long distance walking may not be your cup of tea. And I hope you can substitute another pursuit that suits you. One of my friends reached out recently and shared her dream of an Icelandic knitting adventure. Someone else shared a desire to volunteer in a developing country. Another to trace her ancestral roots across the Scandinavian countries. Those ideas are so amazing and I can’t wait to dive into my other interests. Right now I’ve got to satisfy the urge to walk!
“Walking is the exact balance between spirit and humility."
Gary Snyder
I’ve had a few other comments about my solo idea so far:
You must be brave!
Why??!?!
Won’t you be lonely?
Solo travel is probably not for everyone
I’m an introvert. I like my own company and often prefer to be alone. But when I do bold, adventurous, out-of-my-comfort-zone things I am always with others. Not that I rely on others, I just have more confidence in myself with a safety net where someone else has my back and I have theirs. Solo travel (even for 3-4 days and not far away) means that I am IT. Things will go wrong and I will have to figure them out, things will challenge me and I will have to give my own pep talk, things will be amazing and I won’t have someone to share it with. But solo doesn’t necessarily mean alone: I will meet people on the trail or when I stop for the evening, and they will be a new, temporary network different from the familiar network I left at home.
I picture you reading this and thinking about yourself. You're finding some things resonate, and other things don’t. That's what I love about travel motives and life experiences. I know that there is a “journey” you can create for yourself that satisfies your travel bliss motive. If you have been bitten by the travel bug and can’t go anywhere far, it might simply be taking a travel dream and looking at it in a new way so that you can approach the idea of it wherever you currently find yourself. You may consider doing it solo, and you may not!
For me, my first step is to do a 3-4 day solo long-distance hike where I live on Vancouver Island. Next, I find myself looking at the PEI trail in my own country. And then as my time and fear shifts, I’ll look at hiking across another country, possibly a walking tour in Great Britain, trails around France’s Mont Blanc, or the Camino.
But first, follow me on my practice solo travel journey. I’m open to your tips and encouragement.
Let me know what your next “journey” is and the obstacles you want to overcome to JFDI. Comment below or drop a line on social media.
Need some help figuring your next solo trip? Check out my Travel Coaching options. I’d love to help!
