Travelling Solo for the First Time: Listen to the Whispers to GO
A favourite travel solo quote:
"The mountains whisper for me to wander; my soul hikes to the call." ~Angie Weiland-Crosby
That whisper. You know the one.
It flits through your mind uninvited, a flash image of sipping coffee in a sun-drenched piazza, following a misty mountain trail, browsing through a bustling flea market... all experienced by you. Alone.
A tingly feeling of freedom and possibility is, perhaps, quickly followed by immediate pushback. The Internal Committee of Rational Logic residing in your head whips out their PowerPoint presentation and checklist of reasons why solo travel is just. not. for. you! Not now. Maybe not ever.
If you're in midlife like me, that committee might have extra-strong opinions, colour-coded handouts and threaten to impose tariffs. Decades of navigating life's responsibilities – career, family, community – often mean our lives are beautifully interwoven with others. The idea of untangling yourself, your money, and your desires, even temporarily, can feel less like freedom and more like... well, jumping off the high diving board when you've only ever waded in the shallow end.
If this sounds familiar, I've been where you might be now. The first time the solo travel whisper truly took root in my mind, I practically drowned it out with my own nervous laughter. Me? Travel by myself? But I’m the woman who gets turned around in the mall! I’m too old, it’s too dangerous, and the idea is too selfish (I bust all the myths here)!
But here's the thing – that whisper is persistent. It kept coming back, usually when I was washing a kitchen full of dirty dishes or rearranging my day to accommodate a client’s schedule. The truth is, stepping outside the well-worn paths of our established lives, especially as we ride the wild rollercoaster of peri- to post-menopause, takes a little courage and little rebelliousness. We are often the anchors, the organizers, the ones who keep the family calendar up to date, and shifting to a focus solely on ourselves can feel almost revolutionary, in a guilt-inducing way!
But what if it's not selfish? What if it's actually an act of profound self-care… a chance to re-acquaint ourselves with the woman who used to dream big for herself before life got so wonderfully, beautifully complicated. What if it is a much-needed opportunity to take up some space to flourish?
Getting Ready to Go Solo
The phase before you're ready to travel solo isn't about booking flights or packing bags. It's about nurturing that initial whisper, coaxing it from a tiny voice to an "oh-honey-I-hear-you-loud-and-clear" declaration. It's about acknowledging the fears without letting them take up every molecule of oxygen in the room. This pre-solo phase requires us to reconnect with our resilience. We've all lived lives that required tremendous courage, even when we don’t recognize it as such. Getting ready to go solo is about the small, internal shifts, not leaps into the unknown.
Maybe it starts with noticing those moments of quiet longing. That little pang when you like a friend's solo adventure photos. That flutter of excitement when you find yourself reading travel blogs instead of doing literally anything else you should be doing. For me, the shift began as I lingered extra long in bed on a Sunday morning - my coffee finished long ago. I felt inspired by a friend’s blog post reminiscing about her 2-month solo trip on the cusp of her 60th birthday. It wasn’t her first time travelling solo, and I found myself alert to the fact that as I sat at the cusp of my 50th, I had yet to figure out if I was even interested in solo travel, let alone go on a solo adventure of my own! Suddenly, I found that I had a million tabs open on my laptop: Camino de Santiago routes on Google Maps, Pinterest posts on solo travel for women, library book lists of travel memoirs, and research articles about mid-life. When I finally closed my laptop, something had changed. The whisper had grown just a little louder.
Listen Closely to the Whispers
It's perfectly okay if the concept of solo travel feels enormous. You don't have to book a round-the-world ticket tomorrow. This phase is about planting seeds. It's about allowing yourself to dream, to casually browse travel websites "just because," to simply entertain the possibility without any pressure to act on it immediately.
Lean into the whispers and pay attention to what calls to you. What kind of experiences make your heart beat a little faster? A quiet retreat in the mountains? Wandering through art museums at your own pace? Joining a group of other solo women? Learning to make pasta from a no-nonsense Italian Nona? There's no right or wrong answer, and you don't need to have it all figured out. There are, in fact, no rules!
My own first tiny step was embarrassingly simple: I simply started walking farther by myself. I’ve always gone for walks on my own or with our dog. But after “the shift” I walked farther, without headphones, and on trails I had never been to before. It was during COVID and I accepted the idea that even if I never completed a long-distance solo hike, I could practice doing it. So, my first step into solo travel was not really travel at all and I didn’t need to leave my hometown to begin the initial solo journey.
During the early stages, I felt like I had a neon sign above my head flashing "ALL BY HERSELF!" In fact, one day I bumped into a couple of women I knew on the trail, and they looked around and asked, Who are you with? “Myself.” I cringed. But soon, I became very comfortable walking solo - stopping to drink tea, journaling in the forest, or enjoying the freedom to linger with my camera, taking pictures of anything that caught my eye.
These hikes grew into a plan. My first solo trip - which I wrote about here - was a DIY mini “camino” - 4 days walking on my own. It was a doable step of many that I would take to strengthen and flex this new-to-me solo muscle. As I completed the final kilometres of the 80 km journey, I committed to gifting myself a solo trip every year - designed to nudge me further and further out of my comfort zone in different ways. From an extended hike in the woods, to a long weekend in Seattle, to a week in France scheduled between meeting up with other travel companions - the benefits of travelling solo are many (read about them here), and I am grateful to feel them deeply!
Take Action to Become Ready
I believe that the journey to solo travel for women is deeply personal. There is no set timeline and no magic moment when you suddenly transform from hesitant to fearless. It's more like gradually turning up the volume on your spirit of adventure until it’s finally louder than your fears.
So, if your whisper is getting a little stronger, if a tiny spark of curiosity has been ignited, know that you're in the right place. We each need to embrace our personal growth journey and linger longer in the place that allows us to consider possibilities…the place of gently nurturing the idea… the place right before the adventure begins.
If this has piqued your curiosity in solo travel, take my 14-day Get Ready to Go Solo Challenge. 👇🏽
Get started on your journey and GET READY TO GO SOLO - check out this free 14-day challenge!
Pin it for later!
I hope this article helps you to plan your next adventure! Looking for more guidance?
TRAVEL COACHING: Need a bit of travel coaching to get you started or to fine-tune your travel plans? Are you struggling with deciding on Where to Next?
I’d love to work with you. Check out what travel coaching with me is all about and let’s connect!